Happy New Year! Praying for a better 2015! No real changes. No word from lawyer after I called and checked in on appeal hearing date. No word from Medicaid. They have no idea how long until my application is processed. No change in daily migraine pain, insomnia, body pain, vertigo, speech, sound, vision issues. Vicodin and Tramadol take edge off. Working with doc on another pain patch to try to regulate pain levels. Please help if possible. Any donation would make a huge difference. Bless y’all for caring. Better days ahead, I pray.

Another new week, another new month, another year almost done. Nothing to show for it except unpaid bills, broken promises, and a year full of pain and frustration. Please read my story and help if possible. Thanks for caring. Better days ahead.

Bad couple days. No word from lawyer on appeal hearing date. No word from Medicaid if they’ll make a “special circumstances” decision. No holiday again this year. More friends gone. Depressed and out of options. This could happen to anyone as suddenly as it did to me. I’m not begging. Just asking for kindness and empathy.

Depression and anxiety getting worse. New med was helping, but I think it’s just become too much to handle. Waiting for treatment that helps, waiting for appeal hearing so hopefully I’ll get some money and assistance. Please send positive thoughts. Feeling pretty down. Any donation would make a huge difference.

I got so frustrated with medication and side effects, I tried going natural. Chiropractic, biofeedback, acupuncture, herbs, supplements, vitamins, yoga. Some helped temporarily, but migraines returned stronger and more often. I wound up in pain management, the last place I wanted to go. I felt like this was the end. I’d get hooked on drugs and never be able to function in the real world. This is when the depression kicked in!

A little background. I first saw my GP, referred to neurologist, rheumatologist, orthopedist. MRI, CAT scans, blood work, EEG, EMG, and finally headache specialist. 13 types of preventives, 10 abortives, anti-seizure, anti-Parkinsons, beta blockers, anti-depressants. Nothing worked. Botox 31 shots in my head and neck. No relief.

Saturday. Coffee and migraine. It’s a coin toss to decide how much caffeine to drink. Preauthorization went through so I’ll try to get meds today. Praying this one will help. Supposed to control depression, anxiety, insomnia, and pain. Fingers crossed. Fell in shower yesterday when dizziness snuck up on me. Just sore and bruised. And embarrassed. Trying to enjoy weekend, but would love to have plans to go somewhere. Maybe someday.

Another Friday stuck in the house.People actually say to me, “You’re so lucky you don’t have to work!” I would donate an organ to be able to have a reason to get up in the morning again! To feel useful, helpful, needed, worthy,like a functioning member of society.Not useless, helpless,needy,worthless,and a burden.I just want my life back! My pain is real and so are my tears!

So my pain management doctor prescribed another patch. Fentanyl this time. After 4 days of waiting for preauth from Anthem, I finally got it. Fingers crossed once again that this one works. Can’t take much more. No money for bills for February. Calls from collection agencies. New Year, new deductible of $750.00. Prescriptions are a small fortune. Insurance premium due on 12th of $475.00. I know y’all don’t know me personally, but I’ve shared so much of myself and my situation on FB and Twitter and advocate for awareness for these horrific invisible illnesses. I’ve been brutally honest, embarrassingly so. Please, if you can donate anything at all and share my story, I would be eternally grateful.

Depressed and crying a lot lately. Feeling like there’s no hope. Relief seems impossible. Recovery seems like a dream. I can’t see working in the future. I’m overwhelmed by bills. No date set for SSI Appeal Hearing still. What do I do now?! What are my options?! I’m in too much pain to even care right now.