So. I started seeing a new psychologist recently. I had no rapport with my previous one and was hopeful to find a good match. Well, did I ever?! Dr. R. specializes in the “Emotional Components of Physical Disability and Chronic Illness.” She understands the limitations and feelings of loss, consequent depression and anxiety, among many other factors involved in chronic illnesses. She is extremely easy to talk with, optimistic, and creative in her therapy options. I’m learning visualization techniques for anxiety and pain relief. Ways to get out of my own head and quiet my demons, which has been one of the most difficult aspects for me. My demons being guilt, regret, self-esteem, self-worth, my place in the world, etc. I’m seeing her weekly and leaving her office usually smiling and feeling positive for my future. Tears are shed in the office, but they’re healing tears. Dr. R. is one of many team members with me on my journey through this life of chronic illness and pain. Along with my pain management doctor, internist, and rheumatologist, she is an impartial shoulder to cry on, ear to listen, and advisor. I’m so lucky to have found her! If you’re searching or in doubt as to whether you need emotional support; please consider it. There is no way you can be living with a chronic illness and not experience depression to some degree. We go through a grieving process similar to losing a loved one. Our diagnosis brings denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and hopefully, at some point, acceptance. Acceptance not meaning giving up on treatments or even a cure, but looking at life differently. Knowing our limitations and finding new ways to cope and function. Carry on my fellow chronic pain warriors! #AlwaysKeepFighting 💕
Month: July 2016
Perchance To Dream
Sleep is my happy place. A place without worry or pain. An escape from reality. A place where good things happen and, usually, the bad things stay away. I do have nightmares. But thankfully I don’t often remember them. The good dreams seem to stay with me. More vivid and colorful. But what happens when you can’t sleep?! Painsomnia. So tired, and yet no sleep. No respite from my chronic daily pain. No break from my emotions. No time for my mind to stop rehashing the negative and remember the positive. I’m exhausted all the time. It’s a constant fight of mind over body or body over mind. I depend on these breaks. I need them to function. Without them, I’m lost.