Called lawyer. Still no SSI Appeal hearing date. It’s been 6 (now 10) months. How in the world are people supposed to get by without assistance?! I am entirely out of money and yet the bills are still coming. I need to see my doctors and pay co-pays. I need to keep my insurance. My prescriptions keep adding up. My utilities don’t go down. I still need to eat. This cannot be the way I live the rest of my life! In tears, in agony, and alone. No Medicaid until SSDI approved. How does one person fix an outdated, backlogged, broken system?! Please help!

So, after 5 days of nonstop 9+ pain, I gave myself a Toradol injection in the morning on Sunday,  March 8th. The pain almost immediately dropped to about a 6. I ate a good lunch because the nausea was gone. I slept that night and my pain on Monday was around a 4 (very manageable!) I tried not to get too excited, but it’s hard not to. I ran some errands on Monday and had dinner. Slept great (5 hrs). Woke up on Tuesday with a 10+ migraine and nausea. Dammit! Can only use Toradol 2x a month due to warnings of severe liver issues. It was like a glimpse of what my life could be again. I’m thankful for the break and yet heartbroken it was so short.

Sorry for the silence, but have been hit once again with life-changing news. In the process of collecting doctor’s notes, diagnosis codes, and blood work results for my Disability Appeal Hearing, my lawyers asked me if I remembered being given a positive diagnosis for rheumatoid arthritis in 2008. I must have been in complete denial at the time, because I honestly had forgotten the doctor and the visit and I never went back. But what would you do if given a diagnosis of a debilitating, degenerative, incurable disease in your early 40’s?! I went on to consult with other doctors where I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia by my rheumatologist and chronic migraine by my neurologist/headache specialist. Now I must deal with a third chronic illness and it’s treatment and finding a medication that works and doesn’t kill me with side effects. Truly desperate and don’t think I can take much more! Please help! 
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Please forgive me ahead of time, as i am in a particularly painful-filled, drug-addled state. In my viewing of my TL on Twitter and Facebook, I’m seeing so many fundraisers for things like raising money to go to a fan convention, to raise money for actors and actresses, to give someone a chance to meet an idol, etc. I’m not seeing that the recipient is ill or disabled, or desperate, for money. I understand everyone has the right to use these sites for their own purposes, but it hurts. When I’m at the lowest point in my life and reduced to begging for money for food and medicine, it hurts. Please think about those of us so in need that this is our last option and hope. Rant over. Please help!

My depression has me in it’s grip right now. It’s like I’m on the outside looking in. I see a terrified woman curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably. She’s in a dark room with no door. No windows. No way out! Trying so hard to catch a breath or form a thought. How long has she been in there?! Can’t anyone see or hear her?! Where are her family and friends?! Do they even know she’s there?! She’s not loud. It’s like she’s trying to hide the pain and anguish. Trying to make herself as small as possible. What could make her so scared, so sad, so utterly alone?! I can feel her hopelessness, her lone

liness, her complete agony and fear. I don’t see any blood or broken bones. Where is she hurt?! There’s nothing visible. It must all be on the inside. How much pain and suffering suffering must a body have endured to become this! This poor woman in the dark. I pray she makes it back into the light.

Update to anyone starting or thinking about starting Cymbalta. I know that this drug has worked wonders for many people and I in no way mean to downplay that. In my situation, I suffered side effects so bad that I had to discontinue asap. I had not been informed by my doctor or the drug insert packet about “Cymbalta discontinuation syndrome.” It is real and almost put me in the hospital. If this drug has or is working for you, congratulations. I’m jealous. Just heed the warnings and do your research if you need to go off of it or any similar drugs. Better days ahead.