Insomnia/Painsomnia

wpid-wp-1432820239465.jpegI’m so tired. Tired of being tired. Not just tired tired, but so freaking tired that I can’t see straight. I can’t remember the last time I got more than 2-3 hours of solid sleep. I catch myself dozing during the day. I jerk awake like my body is fighting sleep. All I want is to fall asleep, not dream, and stay asleep for an entire night. Sounds easy, right?! It’s not. It’s a simple wish that I can’t seem to have granted. Insomnia is a symptom of chronic Migraine and Fibromyalgia. Painsomnia is a catch .22, the pain doesn’t allow your body to sleep. It’s an endless cycle of chasing sleep. Never deep REM sleep, just dozing and jerking awake. Usually accompanied by nightmares. Non – restorative sleep. Where you wake even more exhausted than you were before. Eyes hurt. Brain hurts. Neck hurts. Head feels like bucket of cement. Infuriating that I can’t have what comes so naturally to most. I have to fight for everything now, even sleep.

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