Holding Back The Darkness

Having a really tough time right now. Trying to stay positive. The Darkness is creeping in and it’s getting harder to keep it at bay. It’s so strong and I feel so weak. I know help is coming, but it’s 3-6 months down the road. I am desperate and out of options. I need prescriptions, dental work, and Migraine treatment. All need paid up front. I’ve maxed out my credit card and can’t obtain a loan. No one to borrow from or to help. I’m so thankful that I won my appeal hearing, but that doesn’t help my current situation. I’ve got bill collectors calling and monthly payments overdue. I know my story is no more special or worthy of help than anyone else’s. I have stayed strong for so long through the pain and depression. It took 4 years to win my disability benefits. It’s hard to keep fighting when your body is battered and beaten down with daily chronic pain. I struggle every day to get out of bed and “function.” I drive myself to doctor appointments and the pharmacy when I can. If the pain is too much, and I don’t feel safe on the road, then I will cancel. If I go, I have to time my meds with the trip, so the effects don’t interfere with my driving. It’s a lot to coordinate just to see my doctor. It’s ridiculous really! Can this be my life now?! Will this be my life forever?! That’s when the Darkness creeps in. At night, when I can’t sleep. When I’m questioning myself and thinking too loudly. It’s like trying to hold back the tide. Impossible. Exhausting. Defeating.

Don't you cry no more!
Don’t you cry no more!
If you can help in any way, please contact me. If not, prayers are appreciated. Bless y’all for your love and support.

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