Second night in a row without sleep. Damn this pain! I want to be positive, but it’s so hard when you’re exhausted. Body, mind, and soul. I want a light at the end of the tunnel. A sign that things will get better. Affirmation that I won’t live the rest of my life like this. How much pain can a body handle?! I feel like I’m being tested for something, but I don’t know what. I give! You win! Can we stop now?! Endless cycle of worry, pain, anxiety, panic, side effects, different drugs…… It’s non-forgiving. It hurts! Physically and emotionally. Too tired to think, too painful to get up, too depressed to go on. The struggle is real.