Sundaydreaming 

So. It’s 4:00am here. I’m sitting in my living room chair and my mind is racing as it tends to do. I’ve been up all night once again. Combination of pain, anxiety, and nightmares. My hat trick (hockey ref). It’s been a rough week. I’ve had multiple appointments and errands and actually managed to get them all done! Yay me! I’m not being sarcastic. I know, shocking right?! I’m actually proud of my accomplishments. I pushed myself hard to get everything completed and I’m feeling pride in myself. And that’s okay. My normal feelings haven’t been positive lately and I’m giving myself a break. It turns out that the little things really aren’t little. I did more last week than I did in the last 3 months or so. I didn’t feel any less pain, I just pushed through it. That’s not always possible, as I’m well aware. I’ve been an emo mess lately and the guilt, depression, and worthless feelings were taking over. I didn’t want to leave the house. I was exhausted, physically and mentally. I cried a lot. I over ate and hated on myself. So to be able to say that I accomplished everything I set out to do last week is big. Really big. And it gives me hope moving forward. One day at a time. Carry on my fellow warriors. Carry on. 💕

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