So. November already. Time flies when you spend much of it in pain and/or trying to sleep to forget pain. I was so relieved when I was finally (after a long, stress-filled fight) approved for Disability benefits. But I hadn’t thought that far ahead in the whole scheme of things. Disabled. I was officially qualified as disabled. The Judge ruled me as “Totally and Permanently Disabled.” What the hell?! The last three plus years of doctors, tests, diagnoses, treatments, medications, depression, anxiety, and stress hadn’t adequately prepared me for the final outcome. A label. A stigma. An end? I felt like a different person from that day forward. I was immensely relieved for the financial support, but devastated at the reason for it. This was one year ago. I’ve learned a lot since then. With the help of a wonderful pain management doctor and a stellar psychologist, I’ve begun to put things into perspective. No, I’m not the same person as I was before these illnesses took over my life. No, I can’t do a lot of the things that I used to take for granted. But I’m still me. I still matter. I have a good life, a home, the most supportive, strong, loving Mother in the world, my emotional support furbaby, some close friends, and hope. Hope for a better tomorrow. New treatment, medication, possibly even a cure someday. And as long as I have these crucial components in my life, I’ll always keep fighting! Better days ahead my friends! Carry on! 💜 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s